Speaking Lao: Body Language

 Hey friends, and welcome back to the jungle! The last post covered spoken language, so this time we’re going to look at nonverbal language. It’s estimated that up to 90% of interpersonal communication is nonverbal. This doesn’t mean you can completely ignore the words someone is using, but the nonverbal component adds to it and may clear up any vocal ambiguity. However, body language and other behavioral cues can be extremely ambiguous too. For example, it’s a positive and friendly gesture to give a thumbs-up sign in the U.S. In other countries, like Greece, Russia, Iran, and parts of West Africa, it is an offensive gesture, much like giving someone a middle finger. When you travel to a different country, it is important to remember that you aren’t just learning a new language, you’re learning a whole new communication system. If you want to have an enjoyable stay and leave a lasting good impression, it’s a good idea to learn a little about the nonverbals too. So, let’s learn about how the Lao speak without words.

If I covered all the nonverbal signals that could possibly be present in Laos, I might as well publish a novel. So, I will briefly discuss facial expressions and posturing. I’m also going to cover their sense of personal space, touching, and time.

Young Buddhist monks in training. We all know what this means!

Facial Expressions

 Two things are important about Lao facial expressions. First, saving face is very important. Conflict and display of negative emotions are two things to be avoided. Instead, indirect answers may be given or avoiding answering. Negative or strong emotions are acceptable in private settings, but never in public. Second, the Lao smile a lot. This isn’t too much of a culture shock for Americans, but it is important to keep in mind that smiles can communicate a lot of things. They may just be genuinely happy, but smiles can also hide embarrassment or awkwardness.

Posturing

Here in the U.S., we have some common behaviors that are deeply offensive in Laos, or at least very bad-mannered. One thing is the wearing of shoes indoors. When you go into someone’s home, you leave your shoes outside. Often the host provides slippers, or you just go barefoot. The same rule applies to temples; make sure you leave your shoes outside. Sitting position is also important. It’s very rude to point the sole of your foot at someone. In the U.S. we tend to cross our legs, which can then result in your sole being revealed. The best way to avoid this is to sit criss-cross on the floor, or with your legs tucked to the side. In most of Laos, seating is on mats or cushions rather than chairs, so be prepared for that. You also shouldn’t point with your feet or have your feet higher than someone else’s head.

Personal Space

Most of us from the United States would be quite comfortable in Laos in terms of personal space. They typically stand about an arm’s length away, although if you’re talking to an elder, monk, or other highly respected person, this distance is further. However, with a family member or close friend, you can stand closer.

Touch

Touch is generally accepted between same-gendered people, but it isn’t particularly common. Public displays of affection is highly taboo, although in very specific circumstances couples may hold hands. It is also forbidden for women to touch a monk. Should she need to hand something to a monk, she should either set it on a table or pass it to another man who then gives it to the monk. The only exception to this is the giving of alms, which is giving monks money or food. Finally, you never touch someone on the top of their head. This is considered to be the most important part of the body. Clearly, Laos is quite different from America, which is quite touchy in comparison. During your time there, try to keep touching to a minimum, especially in public.

Time Management

 In everyday life, the Lao operate on polychronic time. This means they tend to live life at a slower pace. As the Lao say “koi koipai”, or “slowly, slowly”. It’s pretty normal to send invitations for weddings and parties the day before the event, and people are often late to things. The U.S. is quite the opposite, operating on monochromic time. This is the living by the clock attitude, where punctuality is highly valued and being early could even be expected in some circumstances. Lao business culture is very monochromic, the only part of their society that is.

This was just a brief glimpse of some of the nonverbal parts of Lao culture. While they tend to quickly forgive foreigners for being accidentally disrespectful, you will have a much more enriching visit if you take the time to learn even a little about their world.